Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Gratitude 44-55/crazy love

44. going to see my grandparents

45. cuddling with josie in the mornings after john leaves for work

46. dinner with tyler and bryson after their wedding

47. planning beach trips for the summer

48. summer thunderstorms

49. sunshine- and the beauty it brings to everything

50. my two hibiscus plants- especially the yellow one, its beautiful.

51. the reminder that i have been called to something greater- something far more than i could plan for myself.

52. the promise that the Lord will fulfill his plan through me without any issues- and that all I haven to do is sit back and let him work through me.

53. christian music

54. the places that i have been able to travel for missions over the years- and the impact they had on my heart

55. the book 'crazy love'

So I started reading the book Crazy Love as I mentioned, and so far- its great. I love how the first chapter talks about the greatness of our God, that we are so small compared to the creation he has made in our world, solar system, galaxy, and all of space. I was always fascinated by space as a child (even to the point that up until 10th grade I was going to work for NASA) so I really appreciate and understand the picture that Francis Chan gave me of how great our Lord is that he created everything around me. It simply leaves me to sit in awe of this beautiful life He's given me- and how quickly I get caught up in little things, but how small they are in the grand scheme.

" Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God." - RC Sproul

I really relate to the part when he beings to talk about how quicky we forget the beauty of our Lord. 'no matter how many pictures we see of His galaxies, no matter how many sunsets we watch...we still forget.' I find myself constantly distracted by worldly things, and then find myself so frustrated when I realize they offer me nothing but temporary satisfaction. Why do I need the latest and greatest, to have the best clothes/house/things. THEY ARE JUST THINGS. They are fleeting- they offer me no great satisfaction, at some point they will wear out. But the Love of the Lord never wears out and yet it is never enough for me. "In our world, where hundreds of things distract us from God, we have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of Him.' (pg 29.)

I'm glad to know this is human nature, that while yes there is something wrong with me- there is not at the same time- I am normal. It is my nature to focus on the things I do or do not have, compare myself to everyone else, and to feel the need to have 'things' to fill me up and make me feel better. I so quickly forget that the Lord provides it all for me already, and so much more than what I could want.

So let me remind myself- who is my God? My God is Holy, He is great, he is the one who has lifted me from some of the saddest times in my life, protected my heart constantly, brought me to the John, my perfect match and best friend. He took me to the DR, Tennessee, and Guadalajara to show me his people, his land, and everything great about Him. He has shown me his incredible beauty in sunsets, in babies, in the ocean (my favorite). He is so perfect in all He does. He is unwavering, and eternal, never ever will He not be enough or be available to me. He is in every detail of my life from the time I wake up to the time I lay my head down and go to sleep. He is in every hospital room of the patients I take care of as they battle leukemia. He is here, and he is across the world in Africa. He is in the mountains, He is in the valleys. He is in my heart and my being. He knows me deeply, inside and out, and knows my weaknesses, my strengths, my inmost thoughts and feelings. How precious that someone could know me that well...

Psalm 139

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

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