Tuesday, February 8, 2011

change of heart

You know, one thing I've been trying to work on is my need or thought process to want...stuff. You know, the itch to just go "browse" at some store and come home with something I really could have done without. I prayed and hoped at the beginning of this year that I would have a change of heart- and that my human nature to want things of this world would be taken away and I would be happy, and content with who I am and and what I am.
Its just part of being a woman- we compare ourselves to other people. Who is skinnier, who is prettier, who has nicer clothes, who has the better decorated home. For a while I had a really hard time dealing with four days off a week to spend just with just me myself and I, while the rest of the world was at work. I would make random trips to go shopping, buy things I really didn't need, come home, and still not feel satisfied, and then have a bank account charge that made me even unhappier. I never spent much- but it was still just unnecessary. I am married to Mr Frugal himself which made it even more guilt inducing. So at the beginning of the year I prayed, and secretly resolved to try and change- to save more, spend more time with My savior each day, and to be content.
Today I woke up late- because I wasn't feeling well, and I had all these plans to "run errands" to walmart. And as I sat down and started my quiet time- I found myself not wanting to go, but wanting to stay here, and rest in this peace that I find and enjoy the day around me. This has happened several times over the past few months. And though it is still a struggle to not go out and just buy that cute new sweater- I'm finding it easier, and I'm praising God and drawing nearer to Him.
It is exciting to see that yes, the Lord can change my human nature- and help me with something that is beyond my control sometimes. He can change my heart, and change my mind and let me find my identity in Him- rather than the world around me. How sweet it is...

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Proverbs 31:30 the message

And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

1 John 2:17 NLT

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