Friday, June 3, 2011

lets be honest...

Sometimes, and more times than not lately, I feel like I get to a point where I simply cannot handle anything else that life throws at me. I cannot take another stressor, another something that I have to "deal" with. Just when my soul comes to a place of peace, another storm rolls in and breaks me down once again. I am breaking. And I am not quite sure how to get out of this broken phase.

I am estatic about my pregnancy, and I cannot wait to hold my little one this Christmas when its cold outside. And truly, that is the only thing that I can think about right now to get me through the rest of the chaos that is my life.

For the first time, I have experienced anger towards God. For the first time, I have questioned if He truly is taking care of me and my heart. And for the first time, I have thrown my hands up and said....I give up.

And maybe thats the first up. Letting go. Surrendering.

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