Thursday, March 22, 2012

spring blooms

I’m not sure I should even call it spring, considering the highs during the day have been near 80 already this year. I can’t remember the last time March was this warm, but I am loving it!! The gorgeous weather lends itself to lots of walks and sitting outside on our porch. And of course, my favorite flowers. I picked up these pretties the other day to spruce up our deck.

The downside to spring…I’m currently indoors, battling allergies. Yep. Boo.

Happy Spring Ya’ll!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


I’ve been working on teach myself how to edit my pictures better for some time. Last week Sarah and Ashley used vintage editing in their Tutorial Tuesday link up, and while I didn’t have time to work on it during the week, I did sit down over the weekend and use the action Ashley linked in her post. I love actions, they are great for people like me that aren’t great at editing and don’t have a lot of time to devote to it either. They give you an instant edit with the click of a button. I love the action Ashley linked…here’s a few pictures that I applied it to. All photos are from my archives.

I love the idea of this lighthouse in a vintage look- its rustic, and old, and worn, and well…vintage.

Here’s the before and after of Bald Head Lighthouse:

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Boats before and after…


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I missed the link up…but have loved using the action. Thanks Sarah and Ashley!

Three Months

Dear Landon,

I cannot believe you are THREE months old already. Your three month birthday came with a week of activity, including my first day back at work, and your first day with Mrs. Liz. I think you are more well behaved for Mrs Liz, than you are for me! It has made my anxiety and fear about leaving you much better knowing that you are in such good hands and are such a good baby for her. This past month has flown by and you have changed so much in just a short amount of time.

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-You now sleep anywhere from 5-8 hours straight at night. Usually, we aim to have you in bed between 8:30 and 9:30 and you will wake up around 3:30, eat, and go back to sleep until around 7.

-You eat between 4 and 7 ounces of milk at a time, about every 3 hours.

-You have started using the pacifier a lot more- which is okay by me!

-We still swaddle you at night, your startle reflex is still pretty bad, so you wake yourself up if you aren’t swaddled.

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-You hate tummy time…it is something we really have to work at so you can gain that strength and raise your head.

-You giggle…which is hysterical, and makes us laugh.

-We can always get a smile out of you if we play “superman” and raise you above our heads. It is priceless.

-You have started grabbing at your toys that hang on your playmat and carseat…and then trying to bring them to your mouth.

-We think you are in the beginnings of teething…you drool like crazy, ALWAYS have your fists in your mouth, and during your 12th week were a little more fussy than usual. I won’t be surprised at all when we see a little tooth pop through!

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-You are in 3-6 month clothing as of this week. They are a little big in the body, but fit you in length.

-We don’t go to the doctor this month, so we don’t know how much you weigh or how long you are. We will go for your four month appointment and shots in a few weeks and find out then.

-We went to the beach for the first time! But it was so cold and windy that we didn’t get to actually go ON the beach…we will go back this summer when we can get your sweet toesies in the water!

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You are just pure joy in our lives and we love every minute we get to spend with you. Going back to work has been a challenge, but it makes my days off with you so precious and sweet. It breaks my heart that you are growing up so fast, but I am so excited to see you change each week and learn new things. I can’t wait to see the little boy you will be.

We love you sweet buddy!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Happy St Patrick’s Day

We have had a BUSY week with me returning to work, but it has been wonderful and overall a smooth transition. Landon will turn THREE months old tomorrow, which completely amazes me.
Today I'm just sharing a picture I took of my little guy this week on one of our walks, surprisingly he cooperated and didn't mind laying in the clover!
Happy Saturday, and Happy St Patricks Day :)

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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

week 11.

I dreaded this week. Since the day my little pumpkin was born I absolutely dreaded it.
My last week of maternity leave.
I have already shed a lot of tears about leaving Landon, even though I know it will be okay. Plenty of moms return to work. Plenty of moms manage working and caring for their baby.
I know that it is GOOD for me to go to work, it is GOOD for me to have adult interaction, and something to call my own. It is GOOD for Landon to be away from me, to learn to be soothed by other people, and to be around other children. The lady that will be keeping him is great, and he will be there with only two other kids.
You know there is a lot of research that babies who are around kids older than them develop language skills and other motor skills faster since they try to mimic the kids they are with. So this could be a great thing for Landon to learn conversation skills, and learn to interact with others. That is so good for him.
But it still kills my heart to think that my days won’t be spent snuggling him as he naps, playing with him and getting him to smile, and wiping away tears. I don’t want to miss anything.
Its always that dreaded stay at home mom versus working mom dilemma.
I’m not sure you can ever be completely content with either. Would I be completely happy being a stay at home mom? No, I’m not sure I would…
Will I be completely happy working full time? No. I know I won’t.
One of my aunt’s told me that this is one of the indescribably difficult things you have to decide on as a mom and do as a mom, simply because you love your baby so deeply.
That pretty much sums it up.
Having a child is having your heart live on the outside of your body.
Every emotion my heart could ever feel is wrapped up in that little 11 pound body.
It is so overwhelming at times, I’m not sure I knew my heart was capable of this kind of love.
And I am so blessed, that God chose me to experience motherhood, and to have this glimpse of His love for His own children.
I am His child. His heart aches for me and the pain I will feel in the next week or so as I go back to work. And He is holding me closer, comforting me, and loving me like I am the baby in the relationship. Reminding me that He is in perfect control and is protecting my heart.
This week, I’m reserving for Landon. I’m soaking in all the snuggles and smiles that I possibly can, and preparing myself for Monday morning.
So say a prayer! I’m going to need all of them that I can get!
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How do 12 weeks go by that fast?!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

the day I failed at motherhood.

Okay. maybe that’s an exaggeration.
I know I didn’t truly FAIL at motherhood, that would take some effort on my part.

But, I did do something I said I never would. You know how before you have kids you’re all “ohhh, my kid will never need that, or act like that or, do that”?
Yea. Me too.

And so far, I can say I’ve done pretty well, in the first two and half months my child hasn’t had any all out temper tantrums, he hasn’t talked back to me, he hasn’t bit, hit, or scratched anyone, he hasn’t said any dirty words, and he goes to bed and takes baths without completely losing it. Pretty good if you ask me.

However, he has been awfully needy in one particular department. Since the day we brought the little guy home, he has looooved to nurse. I’m talking, he’d nurse all day every day if it was his choice.

Around three weeks, we attributed it to his growth spurt, he ate for 45 minutes, was happy for about 10 minutes, and then fussed for another 15 or so until I finally gave in again, and we started the cycle all over again. Around 6-7 weeks this cycle took about 2 hours, sometimes 2.5 if I was lucky. And lately he’s been doing really well at going 3-4 hours in between feedings. So what sounds so wrong with that? Well he normally takes about 45 minutes to nurse…normally. Lately, he pushes an hour. He’d go longer if I would let him, but the hour mark is my limit.

It’s a little ridiculous.

Isn’t he supposed to be more efficient at this by now? I mean, where are those 20-30 minute nursing sessions everyone tells me will come around? The past two mornings, he has woken up at 4am, nursed for 45 minutes, gone back to bed, fussed for 15 minutes, and wanted to nurse again.

Yesterday, I hit my limit.

On top of this cycle he’s created, it is the ONLY way he will let me sooth him. I mean, I can rock him, sing to him, hum, bounce, sway, shush, walk, dance, stand on my head, and do jumping jacks, and he continues to cry.

I want to look at him and say “Landon, I love you, but I am more than just a source of food for you. I promise. I can do more.”

Yesterday, I did something I said I hoped I wouldn’t do.

I gave my child the pacifier.


I know its not a big deal. We offered it to him when he was three weeks old, the week we lovingly refer too as hell week. The week when we cried when he cried. The week when we looked at each other and said, “what do we do? what have we done? HELP.” We were desperate, and so we offered him the pacifier that week. And he spit it out. And cried harder. And louder.

Yesterday was different. Yesterday, after thirty minutes of failed attempts at getting my child to go to sleep and stop crying and rooting on me, I gave him the pacifier.

And he took it.
And smiled at me.
Seriously? Oh….well…if that’s what it takes.

This morning we went on a walk. And when I put him in the carseat to go, he lost it. I knew he wasn’t hungry because he had just eaten, so…in order to have a more peaceful morning walk around the neighborhood, I did it again.

And he was happy as a clam.
My sweet little clam.

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So there you go. Baby 1. Momma 0. And you know what, I’m okay with it. Its called showing yourself some grace. Its called cutting yourself some slack and realized you need a break, and if that little plastic and silicone doo-dad takes care of it, then that’s what happens.

I’m a momma, not a baby whisperer.

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