Tuesday, April 17, 2012

our capacity to love

Yesterday I wrote a post about desperately needing some alone time to recharge my mommy battery. I know we all hit points like this in our lives, and it seems like every time I do it one, God is so faithful in taking my weakened spirit and giving it the boost it needs. Yesterday was just that day. Landon and I had an amazing day together. The past week or so he has been a little bit more needy than usual, and yesterday he was back to his happy and cooperative self. I was even able to get him to nap in his crib (which has been a challenge). That allowed me to get outside, sit in the sunshine, and just vegetate. That night Landon went to be a little earlier than usual, which allowed John and I to have an impromptu date night in. We cooked a delicious dinner, sat on the deck and enjoyed our meal under a gorgeous night sky. It was just what we needed. Time to unwind, relax, and finally have a meal uninterrupted.

At one point I glanced up at the stars, and was able to breath deep His goodness. I have a long history of having these moments with Him. When I was in high school, I went to Young Life camp at Windy Gap in the mountains of North Carolina. When you go to camp, you have the chance to hear the gospel.  On the night where they tell the story of how Christ died for us, they send you outside to have quiet time with God, soaking in His love under a gorgeous starry sky. It is breathtaking, and always brought peace to my soul. Even now on early mornings when it is so hard to get up and go to work, I will glance upward and see His beautiful display. It is always a reminder of His constant watch over my heart, and I always catch myself taking a deep breath and just being still for a few seconds. Maybe its not alone time I really have been craving, but just a moment of stillness….


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Despite what I wrote yesterday, I am so thankful for the blessings He has given me in my husband and son. They are my joy. Last year I remember feeling like God was going to teach me how to love in such a way that I had never loved before. I can honestly say now looking back over the past year, He has showed me exactly that. I never knew I had the capacity to love so intensely, so deeply, so fully. I never knew my heart could ache with the love that I have for my family. I never knew that the way I love my son would move me to tears.

When I hit points like I did yesterday, He is so faithful in reminding me of that love. And while I still would love some mommy time, I am okay. I was given the moment of stillness that my soul so desperately needed.

I also read this great post on those moments in motherhood at Ann Voskamp’s website and just wanted to share it.

I figured I’d also share a couple cutie-patootie pictures of my little man yesterday…

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I found this little ball cap at Hobby Lobby for two whole dollars…and it just makes me laugh seeing him in it.

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And this picture was after bath time in his doggy towel…he is such a cheeseball!

Happy Tuesday :)

2 comments:

  1. I can so identify with this! During the first year in particular I struggled with wanting "me time"... but eventually my perspective changed, and I realized that this is a season of giving that is sooo demanding, but like He did for you yesterday God will give us what we need to keep going! :) I will be honest... it has only gotten harder in A's second year because he is SO busy, but I am loving how God is growing me through this! I am learning so much! Hugs to you, sweet friend!

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  2. Oh and I adore the pics! Especially that second one! I love post-bath photos :)

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