Wednesday, January 23, 2013

if i never have a daughter

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about the future of our family, about adding little bodies to the clan. Am I having baby fever and ready to get pregnant right this second? Definitely not, but I like picturing what our household will look like with other children running around besides Landon. I get excited thinking about him being a big brother and being protective over his other siblings. I get excited about our backseat being full of chatter and chaos. I get excited about family trips, and watching them form bonds the way my sister and I did, and John and his sister did. It all just makes me so excited about the future.

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But here’s the thing I’ve really been thinking about. Do I want more boys, or girls? I know its a silly questions because I really have no say in what the gender of my children is, but I still think about it. Could I raise a daughter? Not that I have this boy thing down pat, but the thought of raising a little girl terrifies me. I am not girly, I am not into bows, and I have no idea how to braid. I really don’t enjoy pink and ruffles and tutus (barf), and growing up I was a total tomboy. The thought of a little girl? I really am not sure I’m cut out for it. I have never had this burning desire to have a daughter, and that’s really just the truth. Maybe because of fear, maybe just because…that’s just how I feel.

Being a boy-mom on the other hand? Yes. Sign me up. I’m there. I have always, since before I can remember, known that I wanted to be a mom to a bunch of little boys. I wanted to have my car full of baseball bats, football cleats, and fishing gear. I have always felt it in my core, that I was supposed to be a boy-mom.

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So when we found out Landon was indeed a “he,” I felt a sense of relief. I feel so full of joy watching my son…I cannot think of anything better. I cannot think of a bigger honor than raising a son into a man who is honest, and kind, and a good husband and father, who works hard, loves his family, and loves the Lord.

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If I had a daughter, I would be over the moon and I would love her and she would have an incredibly special piece of my heart. But if I never have a daughter, well, I’m okay with that too.

Do any of you boy-moms feel the same way? Or am I just looney.

Probably the latter. :)

4 comments:

  1. I am the opposite from you. Give me all girls honey, because I would be lost with a boy! lol. So you are not crazy!

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  2. I totally thought Jonah would be a girl. I thought I'd be a girl mom first, but I guess God had other plans for me. . . because I think I got the boyest of all boys! lol I have two sisters so until I had nephews I knew nothing about boys and boy have a learned a lot with Jonah.
    I definitely want a girl though. I'd be happy with another boy but I can't imagine NOT having a daughter. I take every chance I get to braid hair, pick out bows, and make my nieces the girliest of girls. We shall see I guess!

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  3. Great post! As the mama of an eleven-month-old boy, I can relate to this post! I also wonder if our next child (or children) will be a boy or girl. Will I get to do the frills? Will I get to reuse all the adorable boy clothes I have packed away just in case? Only time will tell...

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  4. I had a girl first, and I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a boy. I was nervous to have a boy because all the little boys I knew were crazy!! Of course, baby #2 was a boy. I soon realized we got the best of both worlds--a pretty, independent daughter & a sweet, crazy son.

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