I can’t tell you how many times I have caught myself at night sitting on the couch checking Instagram, Facebook, or browsing Pinterest while my son plays on the floor in front of me. It makes me cringe to admit that. It makes me sick that I have ever chosen social media over my sweet baby, and I think that when it gets to the point that it makes me feel that way, it means I need to do better.
I need to be present for my son. I need to watch him learn, and grow, and explore instead of being consumed by social media and my iphone. We live in a world that keeps us connected right at our fingertips, and I love that. But I hate that.
We as mommas need to be connected in our homes, first and foremost, not across the world. My child deserves better from me. My child deserves ALL of me. All the time.
Over the past few weeks I’ve felt out of balance. I’ve felt like I can’t quite get a grip on where I’m at in life right now, and it is so incredibly frustrating. So, I’m committing to doing better. I’m committing to making changes, starting with myself. What will those changes look like? It will look like disconnecting from technology while Landon is awake. It will look like playing games, building blocks, and reading books, instead of browsing my iphone.
He is entering into an age that is SO important and so precious, and so fleeting…and I don’t want to miss a minute of it. I also want to set the example that relationships are made at home, in person, face to face. Not through text, or Facebook, or Twitter. No, I’m not disconnecting completely, but I will be selective about when I use the internet verses focusing on my family. I’m committing to getting my priorities in order, making my life more balanced, and finding peace in this crazy day to day life of being a working mommy.
Life is way too short, I of all people know that working with cancer patients on a daily basis. I certainly don’t want to look back and say I wish I had done something differently, or played with Landon instead of blogging or read one more book instead of posting on Facebook.
I want to be present.